Even so, in a way I wanted it to be more. Ididn't have a problem wrapping my head around the fact that he wasprobably going to end up transitioning. I thought about it a lot and Ithink there are some things that I'd love about being with a trans-girl.The problem that I had was the bad first impression that he made. I justcouldn't will myself to get over it. I didn't want to be with the'department store creeper'. I imagined there were probably othersituations, maybe more creepy, that I had not witnessed. I felt like Icouldn't ever trust Alex due to our inauspicious first encounter.We postponed our Vegas trip by two months, and by the time it rolledaround, Alex was legally named Alexandra and had an 'F' for gender on herdrivers license. So I'll refer to her as female from here on out. Vegaswas awesome, but it wasn't how we originally envisioned it.Chapter 6: Vegas Let DownAbout a month before Vegas, I had Alexandra easily passing as female inpublic. And she loved it. She was so. But trust me, to most of us it feels good inside no matter how big, it’s how you use it that counts. And you used it well.”“Which to me was all about pleasing you. To me, a woman allowing me to enter her body is a very special gift, that she cares enough about me to allow such an intimate act, and during that time we are one person. And my entire attention is in thanking her for that gift to me. By pleasing her as much as I can before I take my own pleasure.”“Wow, that’s almost zen. Is it always like that to you?”“Well, let me from now on avoid names. But no, I learned that sometimes the woman has her own agenda, and it just might happen to be the reverse, where she cares nothing about her own pleasure, and wants me to get mine as soon as possible.”Jacki giggles, and kissed my chest. “Yeah, I get that also. Although I am lucky if I can get there half the time.”“Well, most of the time with encouragement we guys can rise to the occasion again. And once again, that is where wanting to.
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